All the people who have loved and lost know what is suffered after a sentimental disappointment and what it costs to get ahead. Perhaps your love rejection occurred recently and you feel that your heart needs "intensive care." Maybe your heartbreak was months, or even years ago, but the scars are so deep that you are too afraid to fall in love again. You are not alone in your pain. Many people have been through this before and have found a path to recovery and love again.
Although this does not mean that it is easy. Of course, it is almost impossible to make a love rejection not hurt, but at least there are some strategies that they can help make the process a little easier and help you be better prepared to take better decisions. In this Psychology-Online article we offer you 10 tips on how to overcome love rejection.
Index
- accept your feelings
- let yourself feel the pain
- Do not idealize the person
- Do not insist on asking for explanations
- Lean on your loved ones
- avoid contact
- Fight rumination
- Live new experiences
- Progress in a new skill
- Do not lose hope
Accept your feelings.
There's a reason most cultures have mourning rituals that involve the community at large. When we are going through a grieving process, such as the death of a family member, we need empathy, compassion and hugs.
Heartbreak is a form of grief, however, we do not consider heartbreak as deserving of the same concern and respect as other forms of grief. One of the main reasons society trivializes heartbreak is that we don't understand completely to what extent our body and, especially our mind, are affected by suffering a loving rejection.
What to do when your partner rejects you? Understanding exactly what happens to us is a fundamental step to be able to heal and move on. It is normal to feel sadness, anger or pain after a love rejection. Accept these feelings instead of repressing or denying them, as this can make you feel worse in the long run.
Allow yourself to feel the pain.
It is natural to feel pain after experiencing love rejection. Allow yourself to feel the emotional upset instead of trying to avoid, suppress, ignore, or deny it. Accepting the pain you are experiencing can help you process it and eventually get over it.
How to overcome rejection? There are several ways to express grief in a healthy way. This may include talk to a therapist, a close friend or family member about how you are feeling. It may also help to write about your emotions in a journal or practice relaxing activities such as meditation or physical exercise. Remember that it is normal to feel emotional pain and that there is no shame in asking for help if you need it.
Don't idealize the person.
Sometimes we tend to idealize the person we have feelings for, which can make it harder to move on. When we idealize an ex, we tend to remember only the positive aspects of the relationship and to ignore the negative aspects. This can hinder your recovery and make it more difficult to move on and build a happy life without that person.
If you thought your ex was perfect but he broke up with you out of the blue, you might consider his low ability to maintain a stable relationship or commitment to you. This will make him less desirable, which makes it a bit easier to deal with rejection. In this article you will see how to stop idealizing someone.
It is difficult to overcome a love rejection when you put the person on a pedestal and think that you have “lost the perfect person”. Drop this idea. No one can be the “perfect” person if he doesn't want to have a relationship with you. A relationship is formed by the mutual interest of two people, not just one. If the person you are suffering for is not interested in maintaining a relationship with you, this is already reason enough to realize that you have not lost anything. If a person has no interest and doesn't try with you, there was nothing to lose in the first place.
Do not insist on asking for explanations.
Many people need to have a solid understanding of why the breakup happened and try to extract a clearer or more honest answer from the person who broke our hearts. However, you have to keep in mind that this person is not going to provide you with an answer that can calm your discomfort. No explanation is going to be satisfactory enough for you..
Also, seeking a fuller answer is likely to make you emotionally vulnerable and open the door to feeling hurt. Instead, accept the answer you've already been given, or find your own explanation for why you've been rejected. We ourselves can offer the explanation that fits the facts.
When in doubt about what to do when you're rejected, consider the person's personality and past behaviors with whom you are in love, take into account the context of love rejection and recent history and, most important, leave intact your pride, dignity and self esteem. If we have to fill in the blanks ourselves, we can also do it in a way that makes us feel better.
Lean on your loved ones.
Talking with a friend or family member who can offer emotional support can be very helpful. Share your feelings with someone who will listen can help you release tension and feel more connected. You do not have to suffer in silence, as your family and close friends can support you when you are suffering.
The social network after a love rejection is important because your loved ones can offer emotional support and a sympathetic ear during this difficult time. Friends can help you process your emotions and feel less alone during a breakup.
Loved ones can also offer practical advice and support, such as offering you a place to stay if you need time away. friends can help you remember that there are people who love you and that they are willing to help you overcome love rejection.
Avoid contact.
By cutting off all contact, you give your heart and mind time to heal and move on. Avoiding contact with this person can also help prevent arguments or painful situations that can make your recovery more difficult.
If you have been rejected in love, it is also important that you take into account the use you make of social networks after a love rejection. Consider deleting or unfollow this person. Regularly accessing the social networks of the person you are suffering for can be harmful to you and to her.
When you go in and check their recent posts, comments or Instagram stories, you will tend to focus on what this person is doing or who they are with without regard to your own needs and emotions. In this article you will be able to check the Effects of social media on people's mental health.
This can increase your emotional distress and make it more difficult to move on after being rejected. It can also be harmful to the person, as they may feel harassed or watched. Instead of getting on their social networks, It is important that you focus on yourself and on your own emotional and physical well-being.
Fight rumination.
Rumination involves a repetitive focus on negative thoughts and memories. The key to breaking free from rumination is counteract it by fostering ways of thinking free from prejudice. The most powerful and successful of these techniques is called mindfulness and it is one of the best ways to overcome love rejection.
He mindfulness it involves focusing on our internal states and experiences in the present. Every time your attention is directed to a thought that causes you great discomfort, for example, "I can't believe I've been rejected," simply take note of the thought without judging it ("I thought about this person”) and bring your consciousness back to the present.
It has been shown that directing attention to our present experience instead of ruminating on the past or worrying for the future has important psychological benefits, such as reducing stress, distraction and thoughts obsessive. Discover how to control negative obsessive thoughts.
Live new experiences.
Part of why love rejections can be so painful is that it is possible feel that everything in our environment reminds us of that person special; either being at home and thinking about how you and your ex used to hang out there, or going to work and thinking about how your ex used to meet you for lunch nearby. Sometimes it can seem like everything in our life reminds us of that person.
One way to change this and overcome rejection is to intentionally create new experiences to help push old memories back. New experiences can also open up other possibilities, whether it's traveling to a new place, taking a kind of something you've always wanted to try, or even find a really novel thrilling. find ways to have new positive experiences that are unrelated to the person for which you are having a bad time.
Progress in a new skill.
The key to overcoming a love rejection is not just distracting yourself. Although we cannot deny the importance of going out and doing activities, you have to keep in mind that, even if you fill your day with new activities and people, there will be times when you can't help but think about the person who hurt you and there will be emotional pain.
It's okay to be distracted, but it's not the only recipe for overcoming love rejection. Getting distracted brings moments of specific relief, but in the long term, you get greater impact and results by making progress in one or more important areas of your life. Think about important aspects for you that you could work on and/or improve, that will make you feel fulfilled. For example, learn a new language, play an instrument, improve your work performance, etc.
Moving forward and progressing in a skill will not eliminate all the emotional pain associated with rejection, but it will give you a sense of accomplishment, satisfaction and self-confidence that will alleviate suffering emotional. It's the important things that will make you progress and make you feel alive. When you feel alive, you can open yourself up to new possibilities again.
Do not lose hope.
Sometimes we can dwell on the past as a way to avoid falling in love again because, in a way, we are afraid of hurting again. It is normal to feel discouraged and lose hope in love after a love rejection or a failed relationship. However, it is important to remember that love is a powerful force and there is always hope of finding someone with whom you can share a healthy and happy relationship.
One way not to lose hope in love is focus on yourself and on your own emotional and physical well-being. Practicing self-care and doing things that make you feel good can help you stay hopeful in love despite the difficulties.
Remember that you have not lost the “perfect” person. The person who fits you is the one who is willing to make the effort and does not throw in the towel at the first opportunity. When you accept this reality, even if it seems painful, you will start to be freer. you can start to build love where it is reciprocal. It is also important to learn that you can be happy without a partner.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to How to overcome a love rejection, we recommend that you enter our category of Feelings.
Bibliography
- Ponce Valdivia, F. A., & Pinto, B. (2020). Structural Approach and Problem-Focused Therapy Applied to Love Breakup. Ajayu Organ of Scientific Dissemination of the Department of Psychology UCBSP, 18(1), 244-270.
- Winch, G. (2018). How to fix a broken heart. Simon and Schuster.
