What is pocketing as a couple and how to detect it

He pocketing in the couple, also known as a pocket relationship, occurs when one of the members of the couple tries to hide the other person from their social circle or social networks so that no one finds out about the relationship. This type of situation has become one of the main causes of rupture in relationships. In these cases, it is common for one of the parties to want to shout her love to the four winds, while the another will do everything possible to hide reality by resorting to justifications that are not always truthful

In this Psychology-Online article we will explain what is he pocketing as a couple and how to detect it. In this way, you will be able to better recognize the signs to understand if you are in this type of situation.

Index

1. What is pocketing as a couple
2. How to detect pocketing as a couple
3. Why does couple pocketing occur?
4. What to do if your partner pocketing you

The term pocketing comes from the English word

This situation can occur for various reasons. For example, someone may do it unconsciously out of shame and insecurity, or because want to keep options open with other people or to avoid conflict or criticism of your around.

However, the pocketing in love can generate feelings of exclusion, rejection, jealousy and insecurity for the member of the relationship that is being hidden, so it is not considered a healthy or beneficial practice to maintain open and sincere communication in love. In this article we explain How to have a healthy open relationship.

There are several obvious signs that a person is doing you pocketing in the relationship. For example, they will avoid visiting public places with you at all costs and will never make plans that involve being in your company in places where they may bump into someone they know. Other signs of this behavior may be:

• He will never tell you about his friends or family because they are not interested in having contact with them.
• will try anyway do not upload content to social networks where it appears next to you.
• He will look for a thousand excuses to Don't introduce yourself to their friends.
• He will never tell you about his past.
• He is not going to introduce you as his partner and he will not talk about you with the people in his close circlesuch as family, friends or co-workers.

In addition, he will never invite you to his house, the meetings will be in secret places or where he knows that you are not will find no acquaintance and will always have an excuse to leave you alone and not spend extra time with you.

In the best of cases, the pocketing occurs in the couple because there is an unresolved privacy issue either low self-esteem. However, most of the experts in that area, such as the psychologist and PhD in couple relationships Callisto Adams, ensure that this behavior is not a good sign and may be due to other reasons as:

• Your partner is married or with children and you're just a passing fling in their life.
• His family embarrasses him and does not want you to have any contact with them.
• there is a religious barrier, social or cultural that prevents you from approaching their social circle for fear of being rejected.
• Do you have questions about your sexual orientation?.
• You are trying to obtain a material benefit from someone And while he may not want to lose you, he also doesn't want to lose the material goods the other person provides.

In some cases, you may also not want to go public with your relationship because you have fear to fail or because they need to keep you hidden from their ex-partner to avoid conflicts. In any case, the pocketing in the couple it can cause feelings of discomfort when feeling that you do not deserve love or that you are not good enough for your partner to show you off.

There is no magic formula for this type of behavior because each relationship is different. However, if you find yourself in this situation, the first step will be keep calm to assess the situation in its full context. The main goal is to reach an agreement that both parties feel good about.

Here are some recommendations that you can follow if your partner makes you pocketing:

• reflect on your feelings: Before broaching the subject with your partner, take some time to assess how you feel about it. Does it make you feel uncomfortable, excluded, or unappreciated? There is nothing better than understanding your emotions to express yourself clearly and assertively.
• Start an open and honest conversation: Choose a suitable and quiet time to talk with your partner about your concerns. At that time, express your feelings in a calm manner and avoid accusations or confrontations. Use "I" instead of "you" to focus on your emotions and personal experiences.
• Share your expectations: explain to your partner why it is important for you to be included in their social life. Communicate your needs to feel valued, respected, and to be an integral part of their life. The idea is that you let him know that transparency and open communication are essential for you in the relationship.
• Actively listen to their perspective: allows your partner to express their thoughts and feelings about the situation. Try to understand their motivations or concerns behind the pocketing And don't forget that two-way communication is essential to understanding the big picture and reaching a solution.
• Seek professional help if necessary: If the situation persists or generates recurring conflicts in the relationship, it may be useful to seek the help of a couples therapist. A trained professional can provide guidance and tools to address communication issues and build a healthier relationship.

Remember that The foundation of a strong relationship is trust, open communication, and mutual respect. If your partner continues to hide or ignore your emotional needs, it's important to consider whether that relationship is truly healthy for you in the long run.

This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to What is pocketing as a couple and how to detect it, we recommend that you enter our category of Feelings.

• Hurtarte, C. A., & Diaz-Loving, R. (2008). Communication and satisfaction: analyzing couple interaction. Iberoamerican Psychology, 16(1), 23-27.
• Quiroga Quiroga, L. L. (2021). Sexuality and Communication in the Couple.
• Polaino-Lorente, A., & Martínez Cano, P. (2002). Communication in the couple: most frequent psychological errors. Madrid: Rialp, 2002.