Many people experience the desire, at least once in their life, to take revenge for an injury suffered, for an injustice done against them, or just to get revenge on someone who hurt them. However, this concept does not always apply to this impulse, which may be part of our being.
Sometimes there is only one wish left and this makes a profound difference between those who think of revenge only on a symbolic level and those who decide to take revenge in reality. In this Psychology-Online article, we are going to delve into the subject together to better understand what is revenge in psychology, the types of revenge that exist and why it is not good to take revenge.
Index
- What is the definition of revenge
- Causes of revenge
- Types of revenge
- Why it is not good to take revenge
What is the definition of revenge.
What is the meaning of revenge? Encyclopedias define revenge as a material or moral damage, of varying severity, that is inflicted privately on others
The idea of competing, of doing justice, of harming the other in the same way or more than what has wounded is the stronger the more intense is the perception of the offense suffered and corresponds to a feeling of loss of integrity. Those who contemplate retaliation, in effect, are led to believe that only by punishing those responsible for their own pain may regain the psychological balance shaken or compromised by the actions of the the rest.
In various Eastern and Western societies, revenge is a use sanctioned by tradition: in case of murder, the family of the murdered can, and in some In cases he must take revenge directly on the murderer's family, following certain prescriptions to appease the spirit of the dead and restore the balance of his own group. This is known as blood revenge.
Causes of revenge.
The feeling of revenge is linked to damage suffered violence, abuse or inattention, but it can also appear when someone betrays an expectation or "agreement" within a relationship that can be sentimental, friendly or work. Breaking this implicit pact or seriously and repeatedly damaging trust can deeply mark the sense of confidence and generate significant psychic pain characterized by the wrath, the rancor and the desire for revenge.
On the other hand, revenge is an old feeling. Theologians and scholars of animal behavior have already observed it in primates and within their social groups. When the apes receive help from a fellow man, they remember it and embroider it again; But when they have a seizure, they keep coming back and show an excellent memory of disrespect.
This suggests that the feeling of revenge represents an archaic defense, a primary reaction that we have inherited over millennia of evolution, probably because it promotes survival in basic social contexts.
Therefore, harboring vengeful intentions regarding the one who has hurt us is normal, especially around the trauma. In the first weeks and within a few months of the offense, whoever insists on the theme of revenge against the person who has affected him, experiences a painful but healthy life. That is part of the process of making psychic suffering.
Why do we get revenge
The conscious end of revenge is the penalty, as well as the subsequent achievement of a new psychological balance so sought after. What is generally ignored is the unconscious, if not unconscious, end that is wanted reach: for dynamic psychology, the complaint of the damages suffered are nothing more than the desperate attempt to hide the real damage suffered by the Self in the first years of life.
In this sense, revenge is a Defense mechanism whose function is to hide the deepest traumas that occurred in childhood, for example, the obligation to adhere to parental values or protection against fear of separation. A person busy with his revenge fantasies about that person obviously has the function of remaining psychologically attached to him.
Types of revenge.
There are different types of revenge depending on the causes that caused the initial damage suffered. Let's see them:
- Revenge for suffering: the subject has suffered, either for real reasons or suffered by past experiences similar to the one in question, and wants to make the same sensation feel to who has made you suffer, In some cases it is usually only to settle accounts, usually if you do not want to have more relationships with the person who is guilty of the. In other cases, the aim is to make the pain felt so that it does not recur, generally in cases of interest in the prolongation of the relationship with the other person, but the damage that such a reaction can produce.
- Revenge for mistakes suffered: the subject feels treated worse than he thinks he deserves, for example, a lack of respect. Then think about paying with the same currency, generally, in the case of a totally subjective judgment, the supposed penalty inflicted far exceeds the one suffered.
- Revenge for honor: the pride of the subject has been intentionally affected and tries to show the world that it is not convenient to do so, even if only as a deterrent. Often the attack itself does not cause him pain or discomfort but rather joins the principle of the man of honor.
- Psychotic revenge: the subject has suffered one or more of the situations just listed by several different people throughout his life and tends to pay anyone who believes that all people are the same. It makes a careful evaluation of people and decides how to behave creating elite groups towards which it does not behave with this attitude. Depending on the subject and the situation, revenge can generate different emotions such as satisfaction, repentance or futility.
Why it is not good to take revenge.
We can consider that wanting to take revenge against the author of the damage, physical or moral, is a healthy emotion that can be received psychologically. In some cases, the mere thought can give relief and be functional for a healing process of the damage suffered.
If the desire for revenge can be considered as an emotion that is part of our most basic impulses, the obsession with revenge, on the other hand, is an pathological aspect to be freed from. Indeed, resentment over an injustice suffered can haunt a person's mind and can last for a long time, even if the event occurred years before. In this article, we tell you how to overcome an obsession for someone.
Revenge does not stimulate positive emotions in the people who want to carry it out. Conversely, stimulates all those negative emotions proven by the damage suffered like anger or resentment.. On the psychological level, giving up resentment for the damage suffered requires a long elaboration of their emotional experiences, of the relationship with the person who has committed the evil and the magnitude of the same. Often people who can forgive. Discover how to learn to forgive.
Forgiving is truly therapeutic. If it is lived as a free choice not imposed by third parties. Forgiving not only means freeing oneself from the pain that is carried inside by the damage suffered, but, at times, it can also indicate a closeness to the person who has committed the damage. Not being able to forgive means not being able to let go of that suffering that wears the habits of anger and resentment. A therapeutic journey is a useful tool to understand and process this suffering.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to What is revenge in psychology, we recommend that you enter our category of Emotions.
Bibliography
- Carella, V. (2021). Vendetta and psychology: vendicarsi fa stare bene? Recovered from: https://www.centroclinicospp.it/approfondimenti/335-vendetta-psicologia.html
- Secci, E. M. (2019). Psychology of Vendetta. Recovered from: http://www.enricomariasecci.it/2019/06/25/psicologia-della-vendetta-2/
