What to do when your coworkers DON'T WANT YOU?

Work relationships are seen as a potential source of stress at a time when they are faced with difficulties related to management, employees, and colleagues themselves. A variable that helps determine the quality of work is precisely the quantity and quality of social support provided by superiors and colleagues: if this helps available and adequate, it can neutralize some potential stressors resulting from the combined effect of heavy duty and low potential for control; if, on the contrary, social support is scarce or totally absent, or if the social climate in the work environment is characterized by discrimination and harassment, it adds an additional source of stress.

In this Psychology-Online article we will talk about interpersonal relationships in the workplace and we will see together how to deal with hypocritical co-workers and envious people at work and, in particular, what to do when your coworkers don't like you.

Index

1. Why do my coworkers treat me badly
2. How to deal with difficult coworkers
3. What to do if my coworkers ignore me

With the term mobbingthe harassment, assault and harm to one or more workers. Generally, the triggering cause of the mobbing horizontal - a form that involves people who are at the same hierarchical level - it is not so much the incompatibilities within the work, rather than a reaction of a majority of the group to the stresses of the environment and work activities: the victim is thus used as "scapegoat", on whom falls the blame for disorganization, inefficiencies and failures.

The basis of mobbing Horizontal is not formal power, but informal power, which includes a series of factors related to individual sensitivity and perception. It's based on envy, gossip and jealousy, concretely translating into competition, forms of racism, campanilismo, where marginalization and Stigmatization of the victim is sometimes based on aspects such as, for example, the city of origin or the accent. In addition, the sympathy of the boss or the recognition of a colleague can activate envy mechanisms at work, perhaps, which can lead to behaviors that eliminate their opponent.

Therefore, the two main reasons why people treat their co-workers badly are inability to manage stress through adaptive strategies and self-esteem issues that lead to envy.

How to deal with hypocritical co-workers and envious people at work? Have been sketched 14 profiles of people who practice psychological violence in the workplace:

1. The upstart, the one who looks for all the ways to make a career without having any qualms about reaping victims along the way.
2. The casual, winner of a conflict born by chance who chooses to destroy his opponent completely.
3. The choleric, that due to his character, he cannot control himself and contain his anger and solves his problems by going after others.
4. The conformist, a direct spectator of bullying, who, although not directly responsible, does nothing to block it.
5. The critical, who criticizes without ever proposing solutions.
6. The frustrated, who tends to unload his own private problems on others.
7. The flatterer, who despises his subordinates and acts as a slave to the boss.
8. The pusillanimous, who fears the consequences of his actions, so he does not act directly, but generally prefers to help the mobber or stalker.
9. The sadistic, who enjoys hurting a person to the point of destroying it.
10. The terrified, who, fearing the capabilities of his colleague, wants to take away his functions or replace him to better demonstrate himself.
11. The tyrant, who enslaves others with cruel methods.
12. The jealous, which tends to eliminate the most capable of it. Envy at work is born from the comparison and fear characteristic of a negative or unstable self-esteem.
13. The instigator, who is always looking for new evils.

We all meet difficult colleagues at some point we have to work with, like it or not, and according to American Jody J. Foster, a professor of psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania, classifying people has a advantage precisely because people with similar character traits tend to act in different ways. Similar. "If you can understand, if you can - I'm not saying - diagnose, but grasp the common features, you live better".

What to do when your coworkers don't like you, ignore you or reject you? Everyone may have had, during their working life, conflicts or problems, a situation in which we saw no way out: a boss who dispenses reproaches without listening to reasons, suffering some joke from colleagues or being ignored by them almost as if we were not there. Not being seen or ignored is an extremely distressing experience for both children and toddlers. adults, since it is precisely a reflection in the eyes of another that the individual can know himself and his identity. Sometimes it is worse to be ignored than it is to be yelled at and punished.

In addition to the emotional pain of rejection, being removed, ignored, relieved makes us feel bad, for example, negatively influencing mood and self-esteem, or making us feel angry and "disconnected" in our sense of belonging. After a rejection, we can become very critical of ourselves or ourselves, and that is without a doubt the worst damage we can do to ourselves, because it damages us psychologically and emotionally.

Feeling rejected or being rejected are fairly common painful experiences, but fortunately there are strategies to avoid fall and quickly regain emotional control, below we will see how to act when you are empty at work:

• Avoid criticizing yourself when you are already emotionally ill. Let's avoid making the list of our mistakes and our faults: rather, let's evaluate the facts, what has happened and what we can do in the future as different, better.
• Remember that you have good resources and qualities that you can express to the fullest. We must remind ourselves of what we have to offer, our personal worth; we have to support ourselves by using and affirming valuable parts of us. We can start, for example, from a list of the 5 best qualities we have from the point of view of relationships or professional skills: this is a first emotional support that makes us regain confidence in ourselves and reduce the level of pain moral. In this article you will find information about how to work self-esteem.
• Pay attention to those who love you and give them your sincere feelings. As social animals, we need to belong to a group of people who appreciate and recognize us, but if colleagues despise us and, for example, do not eat with we, we can always do it with a friend or with other colleagues: for someone who rejects us, there is always someone who appreciates and loves us, making us feel rooted.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to What to do when your coworkers don't like you, we recommend that you enter our category of Social psychology.

• Bordone, I. (2016). 10 Lezioni di psychologia per profani. Bologna: Area 51.
• Ferrari, G., Penati, V. (2011). Il mobbing e le violenze psychologiche. Phenomenology, prevention, intervention. Milan: Edizioni Ferrari Sinibaldi.
• Foster, J. J., Joy, M. (2014). The Schmuck in My Office: How to Deal Effectively with Difficult People at Work. New York: St. Martin's Publishing Group
• Gabassi, P. G. (2006). Psychology of the lavoro nelle organizzazioni. Milan: Franco Angeli.
• Gentile, M. (2009). Il mobbing. Problem and practically practiced in the public sector. Milan: Giuffrè Editore.