Throughout history, violence has always played a role, depending on which times are more primordial than others, being taken as the main measure to resolve conflicts. In the case of men, the number of violent crimes and delinquency in general has always been much higher than that of women. In this Psychology-Online article we will answer the questions: Can a violent man change? What to do if you find yourself in front of a violent man? We will also see the symptoms that will lead us to recognize it and its main characteristics. Emphasize that we will deal specifically with violent men within the couple.
We find the following characteristics as the main ones of a violent man, although it must be borne in mind that they do not constitute a homogeneous group and the characteristics vary according to the specific subject and according to the way of exercising violence:
- Psychological disturbances: lack of control of anger and impulsiveness, stress in the face of conflicts, control-lack of control axis (control over the partner, lack of control regarding their aggressive impulses).
- Lack of empathy and lack of expression of emotions. Here gender stereotypes would come into play, which would make it difficult for adequate emotional expression. Feeling vulnerable, they may not accept it and react through violence.
- Dependence and anxiety towards the abandonment of your partner. Emotional instability.
- Cognitive distortions: distorted beliefs that refer to women's roles, believing that they are inferior, etc... here you will find more information about cognitive distortions.
- Poor communication and problem-solving skills, although this is not the case in all cases. Difficulty tolerating frustration.
- Low self-esteem.
- Use of coping strategies to evade responsibility of his violent acts.
- They could have been witnesses or victims of violence in your family of origin. In many cases it is so.
- Consume of alcohol and other substances in some cases.
Does a violent man change or does not change? The treatment of violent men has always been questioned in part by two main issues:
- Abusive people do not acknowledge or take responsibility for their violent behaviorTherefore, they are not motivated to go to treatment and if they attend it is difficult to adhere to the program.
- On the other hand, the efficacy of the intervention is criticized: does it change violent behavior? At first it seems so, but are these guidelines maintained over time?
The treatments must guarantee to answer these questions to achieve a greater number of successes. Normally, if the criteria that we will present now are taken into account, there are possibilities of making a violent man change. In any case, this answer will depend on each specific case, since the treatments are individualized for each subject and their specific needs, so they can also respond different ways. The important thing is to improve as professionals and achieve a greater number of positive results.
Quality criteria to be taken into account for the elaboration of the therapeutic treatment:
- Basic principles in the intervention with aggressors who exercise gender violence.
- Criteria for the elaboration of the therapeutic procedure.
- General criteria: A) Programs included within the healthcare network. B) Trained professionals with a gender perspective. C) Duration of the intervention based on objectives. D) Specific treatment programs that include group and individual procedures. E) Continuous comprehensive evaluation and analysis of motivation.
- Cross-cutting axes of the intervention.
If you are in a situation in front of a violent person, according to the experts, the steps to follow would be the following:
- Maintain a safe distance: prevent any type of contact and violent reaction, carry an object that may or may not harm you.
- Assess the person: causes of aggressive or violent behavior, characteristic, state of the person, tone of voice, towards whom or what are his words directed, state of nerves ...
- Know the place and its spatial distribution well: physical, accessible, safe, fast way to escape violent behavior.
- Assess the degree of dangerd of the situation.
- Deciding if you can get closer to the person and act better or ask for specialized help: do not hesitate to request the necessary help if you find that you will not be able to act alone or that the situation is getting out of hand and becoming much more dangerous.
- First contact: plan an action plan based on the information obtained. Do not improvise because you can generate worse situations. Be clear: what do you want the other person to do? What do you want them to stop doing? and how are you going to carry it out?
- Physical and psychological approach: always progressively, expecting a minimum of calm and safeguarding your safety. Never stop looking at the person's hands and show yours. Avoid looking into her eyes, you can comment something on a trivial topic that helps to divert attention. Calm tone, calm gestures. Invest time and show interest in what they ask or explain.
- Access reasonable requests you makeRemember that what you are looking for is to stop the aggressive behavior, so you have to listen to what the person asks and if it is reasonable to calm the situation. Then you can think about leaving or doing something else.
For the specific case of abusive men, here is an article talking about how to act in these cases: How to help a battered woman.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
