In society, there are many people, therefore, there are also ways of being very different. Ways of being that can be more or less compatible with your character and with your way of living life. There is a way of being that is quite difficult to cope with: there is cold people and calculators who never lose control of situations, have a low level of empathy, listen to their thoughts more than their emotions... What can you do in case you have to be around someone like that? In this Psychology-Online article, we are going to discover the cool people characteristics and calculators so that you can better understand what they really are like and learn to deal with them.
First, try to see the good of that person. Everyone has positive points and, also, defects, therefore, it is worth learning to live by focusing on the kindest side of others. On the other hand, you decide the degree of intimacy that you want to have with each person. There are relationships more superficial than others, therefore, it may not be the most appropriate to have a cold and calculating person as a close friend.
You have to keep in mind that a person who has this personality, surely, has developed in this way due to a lack of affection and love during his stage of development and growth. The truth is that, usually, people who are in this way tend to suffer great affective deficiencies and, therefore, his coldness and attitude towards the world is created in the form of a "shield" to protect himself from the possible attacks that he may receive from others.
It is important to understand why a person is cold and calculating and, in these cases, instead of leaving them aside, try to help her and that he can feel that not everyone is going to hurt him. After all, this type of personality develops as a defense against an attack that it received in the past, therefore, it can be modified.
The personality of cold and calculating people can also be associated with other less positive traits: emotional blackmail, manipulation, or use of people based on your own interests... It is not bad to be cold at certain times in life, in fact, it is very positive to be cold in business, for example. However, someone who behaves like this does not always let things flow out of sheer inertia, they do not relax.
People who are cold mark a barrier that you cannot overcome. This barrier is invisible, however, you notice it and really feel it, therefore, the one who has to coexist for a long time with that barrier you may have tension and discomfort due to an internal stiffness that prevents you from being natural. People who are cold and calculating can change, but they will only do it out of a wish of their own.
Next, we are going to discover the characteristics of cold and calculating people so that you can learn to detect if, around you, there is someone who acts in this way:
- Past trauma: As we have said in the previous section, it is most likely that this person is this way because of a bad experience in the past. His attitude appears as a defense, a shield to prevent harm.
- Very rational people: a calculating person is never carried away by feelings. They are usually people with a very analytical vision of life and who, before taking a wrong step, have carefully assessed everything that can happen next.
- Very intelligent: Normally, people who meet these characteristics are also very intelligent. The constant use of reason means that they can establish stereotypes of people and that they know how they are going to act, something that allows them to anticipate the facts or even manipulate them.
- They don't talk too much: Another characteristic of cold and calculating people is that they are not very prone to talking and communicating. They prefer to be silent and observe, analyze the different behaviors of people and then act on it. They usually be introverted and show only the facet that they are interested in making known.
- Distrustful: It is one of the most common characteristics of these people and is that they do not trust anyone. This is probably due to bad experiences in his past that caused him to become suspicious and afraid that others will harm him. Therefore, these people live in a somewhat evaded way from society, they may have friends, yes, but they will be very little intimate. With them, they will establish superficial relationships for fear that others may hurt them or take advantage of their weaknesses.
- Pessimistic: And finally, a cold person is also usually pessimistic, since he considers that everyone wants and can take advantage of others. Instead of seeing the beautiful side of the human being, he has it in very low regard and sees him as a social "wolf" rather than as a person with a desire to do good and to relate in a positive way.
If once you know how cold people act, you feel that your personality is the opposite and that it would do you no harm to be a little colder in some moments or areas of your life, take note of the tips that we list below with which you can get to be a colder person and prevent everything that happens to you from affecting you excessively:
- Focus all your attention on the future and what you can do from now on to improve your life. A person with a colder mind continually thinks about what he can change and does not stay anchored in the past which, in short, are events or events already past that cannot be change. In the following article, you can see some good advice on how to forget the past and live in the present.
- You must begin to be a more methodical person, that is, establish certain plans to follow to achieve all your goals and objectives in life. Dedication, perseverance and determination are the elements that can help you perform better and achieve what you set out to do.
- Be a more independent person. It is okay to help and please others, but perhaps you need to think a little more about yourself and focus, first, on your needs. It is also important that you make your own decisions based on your desires and reasoning and that you learn to enjoy solitude, understanding that it also has its positive points.
- If you are a very outgoing person, you tend to be the one who directs all the conversations and has a great easy to explain your personal problems to others, you can try to be a little more reserved starting from now. Before speaking, try to organize your thoughts and determine if this is the right moment or you are in front of the right person to give that information.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
