We are social beings by nature, however, this should not lead us to the plane of constantly living for external approval. Sometimes our need for recognition and approval It can lead us to this point with the unconscious desire to fill an inner emptiness or an emotional lack. Why do I always seek the approval of others? If in a habitual way, you feel that this attitude defines your way of being, try to correct this position to connect with your own inner criteria. What are the causes that keep you anchored in this situation and how can you break with this inertia that takes you away from your own inner joy? In this Psychology-Online article, we give you practical guidance to face this situation.
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Take responsibility for your own mistakes and your successes. When you have the need to please and external recognition, this has a consequence. If once the advice of that person has been applied, the results are not as expected, internally, you will hold that person responsible for that mistake, who has surely guided you with good intention. Face the challenge of assuming the consequences of your own decisions. It is easier to face and accept mistakes from this perspective.
- Your opinion is important in the simplest details. You are a valuable person, as much as anyone else. When, for example, you meet your friends to go to the movies, instead of saying that you have no preference for a particular movie, express your opinion openly. This way, your friends can also get to know you better. From now on, start training your ability to show your opinions in these simple details because that way you gain emotional strength and training to achieve higher goals.
- No matter how hard you try, you will not be able to like everyone. In fact, many people also do not like this desire for approval, which when repeated is artificial. From now on, express your opinions and your points of view because thanks to this authenticity, you will be able to establish true ties with some people. Stop emotionally tripping yourself. For example, stop expressing opinions that you do not think and that you do not really feel, however, behind those expressions there is a desire for acceptance. The discomfort you feel from repressing your emotions is greater than the slight moderate well-being that you may feel in the initial moment in which you receive that acceptance feedback.
- It's your life. And no one can know what you want as well as you. No one can know as well as yourself what is meaningful to you. For this reason, from now on, let the laws of your own heart have more value on your map of the world.
Does this mean that external approval is negative? No. It simply means that you should not make this fact an absolute necessity for your self-esteem by conclude that you are more or less significant depending on the feedback you receive from others. Those people who really are a positive influence are those who drive you to be yourself.
Why do I always seek the approval of others? If you ask yourself this question, search within yourself for the answer. It is a way to start giving value to your own criteria.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
