As we well know, it is very difficult to face a situation where a person whom we love so much and more when it comes to our mother, has a disease as serious as cancer. So if you find yourself reading this article and facing this difficult situation, I imagine the sadness and despair that you must feeling at the moment since this type of disease not only affects the person who suffers it but also their entire environment.
If you really want to help your mother, you need to stay informed about the ways you can do it. This is why in the Psychology-Online article: my mother has cancer, how can I help her? We are going to provide you with a series of useful tips so that you can achieve it.
You need to know that there are a series of reactions that are considered normal after your loved one has been diagnosed with cancer, in this If your mother and of course you have found out about it, either because you were with her at the time of diagnosis or because she told you after her. Oncological psychology
Some of the most common reactions in family members are the following:
- Anger, courage, anger.
- Sensation of lose control of the situation and life itself as it is something you never expected to happen to your mother.
- Uncertainty by not knowing exactly what is going to happen.
- Loneliness.
- Sadness.
- May appear sleep disturbancesEither because you can't reconcile it or you start to sleep too much.
- Huge feelings of helplessness and failure.
- Anguish
- Despair
- Intrusive thoughts: excessive worry can lead to recurring thoughts about your responsibility in the situation, such as "Why has this happened to our family?" "Is my mother going to get better fast?"or"my mother has cancer, how can I help her?"For all this, it is important that you relax your mind and remember that your role in this process is to support and offer love to your mother.
It is perfectly normal that you feel that fear takes hold of you and that you cannot do anything to remedy it, however You should know that even though your mother's illness itself is not in your hands, there are things you can do to help her. It is scientifically proven that people who have enough support and affection have less difficulty in cope with cancer.
My mother has cancer - how can I help her?
Here are some tips to know how to help a person with cancer, in this case, your mother:
- Inform you about the disease. It is necessary that you stay fully informed about your mother's diagnosis, that is, the type of cancer she has, the care special things that she should receive, in what way she is going to carry out her treatment, among other aspects that are extremely important for her physical care and emotional.
- Focus on the present. Because, as we know, most cancer treatments are usually lengthy, it is It is necessary not to be all the time worried about "what is going to happen?" and be focused on the future. We must remember that the only thing that we all have really sure is the present and we must learn to live moment by moment. Being worried about the future is only going to make both you and your mother spend all the time suffering for something that has not yet happened and they do not know if it will happen.
- Positive attitude. I understand that it seems very easy to say, however it is necessary to make an effort to keep a positive attitude towards cancer at all times, since mood greatly influences the immune system. On the contrary, if all the time you experience hopelessness, rage, anger, sadness, your mother will perceive it easily and she will live it that way too. Make an effort to give her that encouragement and joy that she needs right now.
- Patience and active listening. On more than one occasion your mother will need to vent and express what she is feeling since it will not be easy for her to find herself in that state. So it is necessary that patience and active listening reign in your relationship, which will make you feel more understood and supported during the disease process.
- Love. It is essential that the treatment you have towards your mother is full of affection and affection. Although sometimes he can get you to despair either because of his bad attitude, that he is angry all the time, etc. She tries to put you in her place and understand that if she acts that way it is because what she is experiencing is very hard for her. On the contrary, do not respond to her provocations and dedicate yourself to treating her with respect and affection, this will help her mood to improve little by little.
If you are feeling at the moment that the situation is getting out of your hands, you are having a very bad time and you cannot find a way to improve it, you need to ask for help. Asking for help doesn't make you less braveOn the contrary, it is normal and understandable that you may need it, especially if it is a situation as delicate as the one you are living with your mother. By this I mean that you ask for help of the kind you need, for example if your mother requires certain special care, look for information about the help that she offers health system or other types of organizations, if it is an emotional issue and you need the support of other people, stay close to your family and friends in everything moment.
How to psychologically treat the cancer process to accept it
On the other hand, it is also necessary to mention that you can always go to psychological therapy, there is a discipline within the area of psychology called "thanatology" that can be of great use to you. help. Thanatology will help you to live the disease process with your mother in the best possible way. You might even suggest that she attend so she can learn to better cope with the process.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
