I don't trust my son: what do I do?

One of the biggest concerns of parents is that their children may suffer at some point in their lives and have a really bad time. Obviously, all parents want the best for their children and it is clear that they too I would love for them to never have problems and for their life to be full of only good things and happiness. However, it is also true that life is impossible to solve for them and that ultimately they have to learn to face their problems and make their own decisions.

In this article from Psychology-Online: I don't trust my son, what do I do? We are going to give you a series of tips that if you start to put them into practice in your day to day, without a doubt They will improve the perception you have towards your child and, finally, you will be able to trust him more with him weather.

Index

1. Sometimes I feel like I don't trust my son
2. How to avoid refusing to trust your child
3. Tips to improve confidence in children

If you wonder "I don't trust my son, what do I do?"If you feel that the decisions he makes are not the best, or you simply believe that your child may be unable to fend for himself, you should think about what is behind that refusal to trust.

• Overprotection. If you have been overprotective of your child all his life from him and you have always solved his problems to avoid him having a bad time or simply because you believed that he just did not could solve them, it is normal that over time your child has gotten used to it and does not know how to take care of it and take responsibility for your own acts.
• Destructive criticism. Constantly judging your child, as well as his actions and thoughts, causes him to feel undervalued and accepted. Therefore, he is more likely to act in a way that even he himself would not want. It is possible that the child may come to think that you do not love him or even that you hate him and that many of his unsafe behaviors are rooted in these thoughts.
• Need for control. Another reason why you cannot trust your son and the decisions he makes is that you have a strong unconscious need to continue to control his life. Is need for control It is masked by a strong desire to help him solve everything so that he "does not suffer", however, it is also something that gives yourself a certain security that you think you are lacking.

If you would like to really change this situation, stop thinking "I don't trust my son, what do I do"And to start trusting your son, you have to make an effort to achieve it since you have surely been many years without doing it, so it will cost you a little more. This does not mean that it is impossible, it only requires willpower and to put into practice this series of tips that we are going to give you below:

• Patience: This is the fundamental key for you to begin not only to trust your son, but also to have a better relationship with him. So it is necessary that every time you feel that you are going to explode or that you want to answer or act impulsively, you remember how important patience is. All people live at different rates, your child cannot think or act the way you do, so you have to learn to adapt to his own process and be patient.
• Let go of control. Stop pretending to have everything under control and want everything to be perfect to avoid discomfort and suffering for your child. Your child has the right, like you, to make his own mistakes and have his own life experiences, which will undoubtedly help him grow and mature as a person. So relax and let him live what he has to live, you do not want to be behind him all the time because it is extremely exhausting and practically impossible.
• Give it time. Taking into account that each person goes at their own pace and lives his own process, it is necessary that you understand that he is experiencing his and needs to be respected.

• Your son is not perfect. You don't want to pretend that your child does everything perfectly and that he is never or almost never wrong. Note that nobody is perfect and that your son is going to make mistakes as many times as he has to do it because it is part of his life learning. You are not perfect, nor do you have to be, so avoid having that as your goal.
• Active listening. A great way to get closer to your child and learn to trust him is by learning to really listen to him. Active listening is essential to have a good relationship with other people. Every time your child wants to communicate something to you, forget about imposing your own reasoning and prejudices about the situation and better focus on what he is saying to you. It is as if at that moment, what your child is saying is the most important thing you could be listening to.
• Psychological therapy. If despite the attempts you have made to trust your child, you still do not succeed and you feel that things have gotten worse, it is necessary that you attend a professional so that he can help you determine what is really happening to you and, of course, so that you can give a solution to this problem according to your situation in particular.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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