There are several factors that can favor an emotional blackmail behavior of a mother towards her children: exercising an overprotective motherhood, having a personality controlling and manipulative and insecure, being pathologically linked to children's affection, having difficulty self-managing their own desires, limits and needs, etc. All these factors, even the interaction between them, cause unfair maternal behaviors of emotional blackmail that can lead to serious consequences and blockages in her children.
In this Psychology-Online article you will find the following information: my mother blackmails me emotionally: why and what to do. We will discuss several examples in which a mother exerts emotional blackmail behaviors on her children, we will explain why these different situations occur and we will specify what to do to combat this controlling behavior negative.
Index
- Overprotective mothers
- Controlling mothers and manipulative mothers
- Mothers dependent on their children
- Mothers with a disability for emotional self-management
Overprotective mothers.
Overprotective mothers, in many cases protected by their own arguments of care of her children, they are emotionally blackmailed to avoid exposing themselves to any of the potential dangers that, depending on their mothering style, exist if they disobey her precepts.
Opposing this maternal position is complicated, since, on many occasions, the son or daughter himself is incapable of of perceiving her behavior as blackmail by interpreting it as protective and caring behavior towards him. However, one indication of a mother's emotional blackmail is the Feeling unwell and internal restlessness of the child at the maternal request. If you have this feeling, see the following article: my mother makes me feel guilty: what do I do?
If you are wondering why my mother is emotionally blackmailing me and what to do, below we show you the different types of emotional blackmail by mothers.
Controlling mothers and manipulative mothers.
In other cases, mothers with high levels of insecurity have learned to survive by controlling the aspects that affect their lives. With regard to the lives of their children, controlling mothers feel safe in controlling every element of their lives and, to They manipulate them and, if necessary, become mothers who do emotional blackmail so that they do not get out of their guidelines.
Do you wonder why my mother is emotionally blackmailing me? All this attitude and behavior of manipulative mothers, like any other defense mechanisms that people use to survive, are performed unconsciously. However, in this case, maternal behavior is usually quite censorship and punitive, so the answer that generates in the children is usually from frustration, anger and resentment.
Faced with this manifest pain, children may rebel against the guidelines indicated by the mother. However, it is much more constructive to adopt a calm and calm attitude of rejection of control maternal, without falling into fights and fights full of aggressiveness and resentment derived from the emotional blackmail of the mother to daughter. Find out in this article about how to forgive my mother.
Mothers dependent on their children.
In this case, as with the other examples, mothers dependent on their children adopt insane and pathological attitudes that end up manipulating and extorting their children. One of the examples of emotional blackmailer are mothers with great emotional deficiencies are linked in a misguided their children, offering them unconditional mothering in exchange for an unconscious contract of fidelity absolute. When the children try to take steps towards their independence and personal vital development, the mother initiates behaviors of emotional blackmail with the unconscious intention to retain your child by his side.
A healthy way to combat this type of pathological behavior is, as we have commented, calmly and with sobriety, to clarify our intentions, also indicating that none of this supposes any betrayal of our mother if not free, healthy and developmental decisions personal.
Mothers with a disability for emotional self-management.
What to do if I receive emotional blackmail from my mother? This type of mother has a high level of emotional immaturity due to great emotional deficiencies. This leads them to live permanently trying to satisfy their own personal needs and demanding from those around them, through emotional manipulation, responses that cover their needs.
In these cases there are also situations in which mothers are unable to recognize their needs and limits and enter into major crises and internal conflicts due to the discomfort generated by this level of unconsciousness. Unable to internally self-manage, they unconsciously emotionally blackmail their children into discharge your frustrations, meet their needs or respect their limits.
As in the rest of the examples, these are not situations that are easy for the children to face and resolve, on the all if they are minors of short ages who do not have the necessary guidelines to solve these situations.
Regardless of the age of the children, we must bear in mind that, the most important thing is to analyze to what extent our own response and behavior is perpetuating the emotional blackmail of a mother, in the case of minors with help external. In this way, patiently and persistently modifying small aspects of our way of reacting will cause effects on interactions by modifying them and creating more constructive situations for the entire family. In this article, we tell you how to improve my relationship with my mother.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to My mother blackmails me emotionally: why and what to do, we recommend that you enter our category of Family problems.
Bibliography
- Gutman, L. (2008). Breeding. Invisible violence and addictions. RBA Books.
- Serrano Hortelano, X. (2007) The Brief Characterioanalytic Psychotherapy (PBC). A psychosocial response to emotional, individual and partner suffering. Editorial New Library.
