There are more and more technological means through which we can communicate and this makes it a fertile ground for infidelities. One of the big problems that have arisen with the boom Of technology are virtual infidelities and the worst thing is that they constitute a very difficult terrain to define. The distance generated by the screen is very ambiguous and then it makes it difficult for us to determine if it is just a game or something beyond it, such as an act of infidelity.
They are difficult and confusing topics, so it is normal for you to ask yourself: What is virtual infidelity? What defines it? Why is it so dangerous? What types of virtual infidelities exist? How can we deal with virtual infidelity? In Psychology-Online we will dedicate this article to explain what is theVirtual infidelity, its types and how to deal with it.
We speak of cybernetic or virtual infidelity when a person outside the relationship, in a hidden way and without consent of the other member, becomes the object of sexual or love desire of one of the members of the couple and
The truth is that technology is updated every second and now it is possible to make sent messages, audios, videos and photographs disappear without leaving traces. The applications are updated faster and faster and then it is also possible to send anything without a trace, which is good in terms of security, but it has also opened new possibilities for secrecy.
Why do we talk about infidelity if lovers sometimes never meet and all their romance remains on the virtual plane? First it is important to put the subject of virtual infidelities in context. We talk about this type of infidelity because they are an increasingly common problem, which is also in a hybrid terrain that fills us with ambiguities and we find it difficult to define clearly.
Infidelity is in the fact that the fidelity agreement established implicitly or explicitly by the couple is broken, there is dishonesty on the part of one of the members and in addition there are typical behaviors of the unfaithful act; how to start hiding and hiding these types of events that are known not to be incorrect because they are out of the agreed and for Therefore, if the other discovers what is shared through the network, the most likely thing is that he will be strongly disappointed or finish the relationship.
Virtual infidelities can occur of different types, depending on the dynamic that is established between the person and what each one is looking for, but they can always end in different ways. Here we show you some types of dynamics that could be generated:
1. Virtual sexual connection with an unknown person
There are connections that occur between strangers that are only generated by a search for excitement and an exchange of photographs, videos or different material is generated. Many times, this type of contact is established through search platforms in which both people search for the same thing. It is presented as a kind of pornography specifically dedicated to someone in particular and where the bond that is established with the other is only physical and just look for the excitement.
Generally, and this type of encounter only remains in the cybernetic plane and if a physical encounter occurs, they maintain the same tonic of being something clearly physical.
2. Virtual sexual connection with a known person
There are also connections that occur between acquaintances, where there is a sexual infidelity. In this type of cybernetic sexual encounters, many possibilities are opened in the sexual field, depending on how far the imagination goes and the game between virtual lovers, can be given, from exchanges of photographs, videos, sexting, role playing, exchange of fantasies, etc.
It could involve something emotional in the short or long term, depending on the dynamics that are generated after the sexual encounter.
3. Romantic infidelities
They have more to do with a special bond that occurs with another, that can leave as something friendly sharing her secrets, telling her about her things, dreams, projects, desires, etc., but that at some point it returns to love and they begin to lovingly treat each other to have dreams, plans and fantasies in set. You can even get to feel emotions for the other. It can be linked to the sexual or not and there can be real encounters or not.
In the following article, you can see more information about the Types of infidelity.
Virtual infidelity, like all infidelity, could cause significant damage to both the partner and the person who has been cheated on and also generate many consequences in the relationship. This will always depend on what happened, how things happened, the context in which they occurred, the level at which they occurred and, above all, what this means for the couple. What constitutes a deception is defined by each person in particular according to their beliefs, values and the way in which sees a relationship: what he expects of it and what each of the partners should do or how they should to be. This is something that we rarely talk about or are aware of. For this reason, these types of situations can help us to re-evaluate what we want and what we do not want and make it manifest by establishing clear limits, either in this relationship or in the following ones. What to do if my partner has a virtual relationship?
1. Identify if there is an infidelity
It is important to be clear if the other person is really being unfaithful. The traits that can give indications of a possible infidelity are: if the other person has distanced themselves, if she spends a lot of time on the phone or computer and He looks for discreet places to check it, if he puts the cell phone on silence or airplane mode when he is in our presence, if he gets nervous when receiving calls or messages, if he locks himself in the bathroom or goes out every time he wants to talk or write, if there are noticeable changes in his behavior, dress, etc... In this article we explain How to discover an infidelity.
2. Assess the type of infidelity
The second step to face a virtual infidelity is to evaluate the type of infidelity and the level of involvement:
- What happened?
- How did it happen?
- At what level?
- What kind of virtual infidelity was there?
- Who is the other person?: an acquaintance, a stranger ...
3. Evaluate how I feel
Assess how the particular situation affects me:
- Why do I think it happened?
- How does this situation affect me personally?
- How do I mean it?
- What bothers me the most?
- What doesn't bother me?
- What is it that hurts me?
- What makes the situation seem like infidelity to me?
- What is an infidelity for me?
4. Communicate
If you are sure of what happened, of what you feel, confront the situation and see what response you get. Show what the situation generates, what you feel, how it affects you and how you interpret the situation. Do a damage assessment together or together. Evaluate what limits were crossed, communicate honestly what each one feels, without invalidating the other. Evaluate the couple codes that have been broken, what really happened and what is the damage that this situation causes you. Analyze the seriousness of the matter and decide what you want to do after what happened.
5. Evaluate what to do
Evaluate whether or not what happened virtually constitutes a hoax for you and what you want to do with it. Without a doubt, any type of infidelity is painful and difficult to cope with, but, although it is not we can see so clearly in the moment, it is an important opportunity to rethink some things...
If the couple wants to move forward in the relationship, it is very important to be honest and clear to expose what is behind what happened: talk about the reasons why this type of encounter took place and the reasons why it was held, can shed light on the latent needs behind the meeting. partner. Of the things not said and of what would be necessary to do to occupy this event as a fertilizer that makes the relationship stronger than before.
6. Be honest
Try to be honest with each other and talk about those things that have been kept quiet until now. Things that are difficult for them to talk about and that is why they have been keeping quiet, but that in the long run they have realized that they have distanced them as a couple. Something very important if you want to face and overcome virtual infidelity.
7. State the needs
State the emotional and sexual needs clearly, honestly and specifically. Speaking clearly about what I want, need, like and need in the relationship is key to not feeling dissatisfied within my relationship and thus not have the need to look outside what I lack in the relationship.
In addition, the feeling of being able to communicate everything as a couple makes the couple more solid, because they feel like an invincible team. In this article we talk about How to improve communication in the couple.
8. Work on the relationship
It is necessary to constantly reactivate the relationship and rekindle the feeling of being good friends and lovers. Increase intimacy, games, flirtation, seduction, start having new activities together and common plans or projects, can help the relationship to grow again and be convert.
9. Positive inputs
Communicate to the other / a what I feel and show him / her what I like about him or her. Sometimes in long-term relationships, partners stop telling each other what they feel and they stop expressing what they like about the other and that sometimes makes the other feel little seen or little valued in the relationship. Re-communicating what is good about the other, reinforcing what I like about him or her, what makes us fall in love and continues to fall in love and what we feel for the other, is fundamental.
In this article, you will find more information about How to act in the face of infidelity.
