Jealousy is a relatively natural emotion that appears in fear of losing a loved one. Therefore, it is normal that on some occasions, in this case your boyfriend, he can become jealous from time to time. The bad and dangerous comes when you experience them all the time in an intense way to the point of pretending to limit yourself and not let you lead a normal life.
As we well know, excessive jealousy can cause the relationship to deteriorate little by little and that both parties are affected since not only the victim of this unbridled jealousy suffers but also the person excessively jealous. This is why in this Psychology-Online article: ¿what to do if my boyfriend is very jealous? We are going to give you a series of tips that will help you to know how to deal with this situation in a better way.
Next, we are going to mention to you what are the main characteristics of highly jealous people focused on couple relationships.
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They exercise control over the couple. They try to keep you under control all the time, that is why they are always aware of what you do at all times, with whom you interact, They are aware of everything you do on your social networks and even put pressure on you to review them or review everything you have in your telephone.
- Handling. They are people who tend to use the emotional blackmail as a means to manipulate you and end up doing what they want. Generally they will want to manipulate you so that you do not interact with certain people or that you do not do certain actions because otherwise they will be the offended and the affected.
- Prohibitions They tend to prohibit their partner from certain things such as associating with people of the other sex, dating his friends, who frequent his family, even doing certain activities simply because they are not his liking.
- Emotional dependence.They are extremely independent so they are always looking for the approval of others and feel a great need to be with the partner produced by the great fear they have of being abandoned.
- Low self-esteem. They are people who lack self-esteem and who deep down do not feel worthy of receiving the love and affection of another person in a sincere way.
- They explode easily. They tend to be quite emotionally reactive due to their great emotional imbalance, so for the slightest situation may have reactions in an overwhelming way such as hitting, yelling, crying, experiencing great anxiety and sadness.
If you still have doubts about what to do if your boyfriend is very jealous, it is recommended that you follow these steps:
- Talk to your partner. The first thing you should do is speak directly to your boyfriend, comment in an assertive and calm way about the way in which he is acting with you and the way in which those attitudes are making you feel. Try to speak with him clearly and sincerely, ask him to explain what his reasons are for acting like this and solve together any misunderstandings that may have been generated.
- Set your own limits. In all types of relationships there are limits that must be respected and you must be clear about what they are. After you have done it, it is necessary that you let your partner know them and that you clarify that they must respect them since it is part of the love and respect that should be in the couple.
- Show him that he can trust. Tell him and above all let him know through your actions how much he can trust you and that he really has no reason to feel jealous since you love him and no one else.
- Let him know how much you love him. You do not have to be showing him absolutely all the time how much you love him and that you care, however it is not about ignoring him either. The important thing is that there is a balance and for this it is necessary that you always remember him either through your actions, some detail or comment how much you love him and how important he is to you. In this way, he will feel more loved and valued and his trust in you will increase.
People who feel jealous are afraid that they can be replaced by another, so they begin to generate certain emotional distress sometimes becoming pathological when not managed properly and when jealousy is experienced excessively.
- Reflect on the situation. There are situations especially where jealousy has been so exaggerated and overflowing that over time they have been destroying all or almost all of the relationship. So it is necessary that if you intend to continue with the relationship, you are aware of your feelings at this time and that you think first of yourself and your well-being. On many occasions, every effort has been made to improve the situation and it has not been possible, so make sure that the best decision For you, it is to continue with the relationship since in case it is not, the best thing you could do is break with her even if beginning.
- Couple therapy. If both of you have been fighting those extreme jealousy and trying to get their relationship forward but feel that they have not achieved it alone, it is recommended that they receive couples therapy to save relationship. The goal of therapy will of course be to help the jealous person feel better about himself and learn to trust his partner. They will also be given tools so that both of them can solve their problems in the healthiest and most assertive way.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
