There are many situations in our life that can lead us to live an attachment relationship. Parents, friends, and partners can develop somewhat unhealthy relationships that limit our independence and security. In the field of love relationships, emotional dependency or attachment it is something very frequent, much more than we think. An overly dependent bond is created between the two people, making one without the other feel incomplete, insecure, weak. In this Psychology-Online article we are going to discover you how to overcome emotional attachment in the couple giving you some tips that will help you to detect this situation and, of course, to be able to overcome it. Healthy and positive relationships are the only ones we must cultivate.
Before entering fully to give you advice so that you can overcome emotional attachment in the couple, it is important that you learn to recognize your symptoms more obvious. It is not necessary to go to an extreme and feel completely vulnerable without that person to talk about attachment, simply, it is enough to analyze a series of behaviors and feelings to understand the nature of your relationship.
Thus, a person with emotional dependence on his partner usually experiences situations similar to the following:
- You want to always be with your partner: Although at the beginning of starting a relationship it is natural to have more desire to see that person than others, the truth is that this situation is only the beginning. Then things should calm down and get back on track. But if this is not the case and you still feel that need, it is because you probably have emotional attachment. The usual thing is that, after the first months of passion and extreme infatuation, calm comes and you regain your life and your independence; if not, it is because something is wrong so analyze it.
- You feel that you need him: This is another of the most common situations in couple attachment relationships. And, instead of wanting to be with her and enjoy an evening in her company, your feeling goes further and goes from simple desire to need. This is dangerous because if you ever miss that person, your world can completely fall apart. Relationships are not necessity, they are will and decision.
- You feel insecure about your relationship: It is also very common for people with emotional dependence on their partner to be always insecure about the future of their relationship. Their concern is such that they stop enjoying their life as a couple to be always worried. This happens because, as we have said before, a toxic bond of need is created and, therefore, you cannot even imagine what will become of you and your life without that person. These thoughts only generate anguish, discomfort and stress.
- Feelings of inferiority towards your partner: The dependency relationship that you have generated in your relationship makes you feel unworthy of their attention and that you are always worrying if he finds someone better than you and, in the end, give up. This makes you feel smaller and more insignificant by their side each time, something that greatly affects your self-esteem and your self-confidence.
- You don't know how to be alone: And finally, another of the most obvious symptoms that indicate that you suffer from emotional attachment in the couple is that you are not able to enjoy without that person. You do not know what to do with your life when he or she is not there, you do not know how to have fun or occupy your free time. That clearly indicates that you are feeding only on your partner to be happy. And that is totally insane because you are the person who has to fight to be happy. Only you.
Now that you know what emotional attachment is, it is important that you try to overcome it in order to live fully and happily. Very often, in a couple breakup, it costs a lot to break that attachment And, in the end, you end up having a worse time because of this toxic bond rather than because you miss your partner herself. Therefore, it is important to know how to overcome emotional attachment in the couple and fight to enjoy a fuller and more satisfying life.
Don't be afraid to be alone
In order to overcome emotional attachment in the couple it is important that do not be afraid of loneliness.Clearly, after a breakup, there is a period of change and that during this period there may be times when you feel more alone than usual. But nothing happens, really. It is something normal and ordinary that happens to all of us. In fact, even with a partner, it is important that keep your individuality, that you take care of yourself and that you dedicate time to yourself. Only then can you remain a complete and authentic person who, if the relationship ends, will continue exactly the same with his life.
Be more selfish
In order to avoid emotional dependence on the partner, it is important that let's not lose sight of our interests nor our dreams. Many times we tend to confuse "adapting to each other" with "canceling each other out." This is something that we must avoid to the maximum. We have to think about ourselves, what we want from life and do what we really want to do. And if our partner is within this plan, much better! But, above all, we must never let ourselves in the background.
Distance yourself from your partner
Another trick to be able to practice emotional detachment in the couple is that you have separate moments. Converting the couple as a "pack" is totally toxic both individually and socially. It is clear that there will be moments that you share together but, also, there must be other moments when you are apart. You cannot become one person, you have to be two individuals who have come together to be happier. But always that: two independent and united people.
Do you want him or do you need him?
This is a question that we invite you to ask yourself and be very sincere when answering it. Differentiating what is love of need is something basic that will mark you what, really, your feelings towards your partner. Remember that a partner is never needed because, to be happy, you don't need anything other than yourself. Therefore, it is important that you analyze the nature of your feelings and, in case you feel the need, try to separate yourself a little, take care of yourself and respect yourself. You are worth a lot. You don't need anyone to be happy. Do not forget.
In this other article we tell you how be happy without depending on others.
And, to finish this article about emotional attachment in a couple, it is important to know the symptoms that we they can help to detect if in our relationship we are attached or, on the contrary, we enjoy a relationship fury.
Here we leave you the most obvious signs of dependency in the couple so that you analyze your situation:
- Obsessive thoughts: something very common among couples with dependency is that they have some "obsessions". For example, compulsive jealousy or distrust is a clear symptom of this emotional situation. It is also common for the person with whom life is shared to be idealized or for negative situations experienced within the couple to be ignored.
- Compulsive contact: Another characteristic of dependent couples is that they are all day talking on the phone, by messages, and so on. And at the moment in which one member cannot contact the other, the usual thing is that they create great discussions, mistrust or complicated situations that are the result of this toxicity that exists in the partner.
- Lack of realism in the couple: Another very common symptom is that the relationship is lived in a fanciful way. In other words, reality is not accepted and decisions are never made about it. This type of relationship is doomed to failure but, most of the time, the couple keeps trying over and over again because they see it impossible for the relationship to end.
In this other article we help you analyze the why are you afraid that your partner will leave you.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
