You love your partner very much and you think that your relationship in general is satisfactory, but when he gets angry sometimes he insults you, what should you do in that case? In this Psychology-Online article we want to make some recommendations in this regard so that you know how to act if your partner insults you when he gets angry.
Index
- Why does my partner yell and insult me when we argue
- Why does a partner who loves you disrespect you
- What to do when there is lack of respect in the couple
- How to regain respect in a relationship
- What to do when your partner constantly insults you
Why does my partner yell and insult me when we argue.
It is possible that on specific occasions one of the members of the couple behaves aggressively in an argument. When this happens, you can raise your voice or yell directly. In addition, it may happen that he insults the other member during the dispute. Can we qualify this behavior as normal in a relationship?
Although it is a behavior that may be habitual, not normal in a healthy relationship. Aggression can occur for different reasons: stress, bad management of emotions, frustration, disappointment ... However, none of those reasons justify it.
Aggression encourages violence. That is why it usually goes to more. If you have entered into this dynamic, if in all or almost all discussions there are disqualifications or insults, it is a toxic relationship. It is important to seek the help of a professional who will assess whether the relationship has a chance of getting back on track.
Why does a partner who loves you disrespect you.
A partner who loves you does not disrespect you. You can make mistakes and get carried away by your emotions at a specific moment, but respect should never be lost.
Sometimes we have the wrong idea of what love is. Love is not suffering, it is not belonging, it is not enduring. Healthy love is free and respectful. It should make you feel good. If your love is healthy, being with your partner will make you grow, you will add to each other or to each other, but you will never subtract.
We must be clear that love is not measured with words, but with deeds. It is our actions that determine whether or not we love someone and not the times we can say "I love you."
It is useless if your partner gives you gifts, hugs you, kisses you, or is the best father or mother you can imagine if you are constantly disrespectful. Either with yelling and insults, ridiculing you in some way or even ignoring you. Ignoring someone is also disrespectful, silent, but it is.
What to do when there is lack of respect in the couple.
When there is lack of respect in the couple, it is worth trying to talk relaxed about what is happening. Tell your partner how you feel when he behaves like this. Ask him to change that attitude. Explain to him what the limits are and do not tolerate him exceeding them.
Professional help can guide you in learning good communication. In the following article you can see how to improve communication in the couple. Also to manage emotions and express them in an appropriate way. To listen to the other and to express your feelings. To empathize.
Many times we think that disrespect is just insults, but there are many more. Let's see some of them:
- Ridiculing your partner. Either their physical appearance or their way of acting or thinking.
- Ironies and sarcasms.
- Withdraw attention. Refusing to look at the other when she speaks or not answering her.
- End a conversation by slamming the door, throwing objects, or breaking things.
- Non-verbal language: getting too close to intimidate, using hands to point or make violent gestures, looking superior or challenging ...
- Make criticisms looking for the pain of the other or the other.
- Making fun of a partner's weakness in private or public.
- Tell intimacies of the couple in front of other people.
- Shout out.
- Look down on your achievements.
- Etc
How to regain respect in a relationship.
Of the most difficult things to recover in a relationship with a partner are respect and trust. When respect has been lost once, it usually goes to more and this deteriorates the relationship, generating disappointment and resentment.
If certain insurmountable limits have not been exceeded, it is possible to try to regain respect. In the case of trying, it will be hard and continuous work, as well as constant and will require the intervention of a professional to help you with couples therapy.
If certain limits have been exceeded, it is best to end the relationship. Here we explain how to know when to end a relationship.
What to do when your partner constantly insults you.
If your partner constantly insults you, you find yourself in a toxic relationship that you must end sooner.
If you have already explained how he makes you feel when he insults you and he has continued to do so, there is not much else to do. Get out of that relationship. Do not minimize the importance of insults, do not consider them normal because they are not. Don't settle for what you have. Don't justify it, it has no justification.
Many people believe that they must remain in a toxic and destructive relationship because "it is their turn" or because they cannot financially support themselves, or because of their children, or because they believe that they will not be able to live without their partner. Do not be afraid. At the moment there are many means to help you. The transition period can be hard, the changes are hard, but it is the right thing for you and for your mental and probably physical health. Ask for help necessary to your family, friends or acquaintances. Psychological abuse is never justified.
Here you can see characteristics to detect partner abuse. If you need help, don't hesitate to call helpline for victims of gender violence.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to My partner insults me when he gets angry: why and what do I do?, we recommend that you enter our category of Couple therapy.
Bibliography
Riso, W. (2014). To love or to depend?: How to overcome emotional attachment and make love a full and healthy experience. Barcelona: Zenith
