Having a long-distance relationship for many people is a very difficult challenge to cope with, especially for people who are not used to having this type of relationship. Often one of the main problems that arise in long-distance relationships is that of jealousy, above all, when a relationship is just beginning and you still don't have enough trust in the other person. But what can we do about it? How to control jealousy in a long distance relationship? There are a number of issues that many people who suffer from jealousy when in a relationship do not take into account and that the perceive them and give them the importance they deserve, helps a lot to control the jealousy that can be experienced during the relationship. That is why in Psychology-Online we are going to provide you with a series of guidelines and tips so that you can know how to survive a long distance relationship and also be able to feel calm with your partner.
In order for you to begin to control jealousy in a long-distance relationship, it is necessary that you consider a series of issues that you were probably overlooking or did not give much importance to, but that nevertheless you must take into account. Some of these issues are as follows:
- Has your partner given you real reasons to distrust? Get upset with yourself and make an objective analysis of the situation where you manage to realize if the jealousy that you feel are well founded or if they are the product of your same distrust towards other people and / or other causes such as unsafety, having previously lived situations where you were betrayed, etc. Identify where the jealousy you are feeling is coming from.
- How much do you trust your partner? She remembers that the foundation of every relationship, not just that of a couple, is trust. When there is no trust in the other person, the relationship becomes quite fragile and is most likely doomed. It's like when you have a best friend that you don't really trust, could you consider that as such? The same happens with a relationship, trust is a key ingredient that must exist for a relationship to really exist.
- Do you have good communication with your partner? Another extremely important aspect in the couple relationship, as well as in any other type of meaningful relationship, is communication. So you must ask yourself how good is the communication you have with your partner and in case it is not very good, you can consider working on improving it.
Here are some important tips for you to know how to put aside doubts and fear in a long distance relationship.
Promote confidence
As I mentioned before, trust is the foundation of any relationship, so it is essential that you focus your attention on increasing it. Some tips that can help you generate more trust in your relationship is that talk to her (him) about what is happening to you, tell her how you feel and respect her / him in everything moment. It is evident that if you want trust to exist between the two of you, you must set the example, in this way it is more likely that he will act the same as you.
Accept the uncertainty
Although we ourselves respect our partner who is far away and do everything possible because the relationship continues to work, this does not guarantee 100% that the other person will also do the same same. This is a reality that we must accept and not only because it is a distance relationship, but in any type of relationship, since even if you live in the same city as the couple or in the same house, no one can guarantee what you can occur. However, he thinks that it is better to accept the uncertainty and enjoy every moment with that person than not accept her and end the relationship or suffer every time she is away from him (her).
Focus on the present
Realize that your suffering is due to what you are imagining could happen in the future, but it does not come from what is really happening. At the moment, nothing is happening, so you do not have to worry about what your partner can or cannot do. When you program your mind to be totally in the present, you automatically stop suffering unnecessarily for things that have not yet happened and in fact who knows if they will happen. A very useful technique to help us focus on the present is the meditation or the mindfulness.
Stop making hypotheses
Stop hypothesizing and creating fantastic stories in your mind about what your partner may be doing when they do not answer you or when you are not in contact. Remember that all those negative hypotheses you make are based on your own jealousy, which if not you have a real reason to distrust your partner, they will only torture you more and more and ruin your day.
Keep your mind busy
When our mind is really occupied with other things, it stops worrying so much about what others are doing or not doing. It is important that you do not stop doing the things you like or carry out your daily routine, otherwise, if you stop doing your things and You only wait for the time to talk with your partner, it is more likely, especially when you are very jealous, that you will go through suffering without reason. So you better get busy and stop worrying.
If you find yourself suffering from having a long distance relationship, it is because you are only seeing the negative side of them. It is important that you stop focusing your attention on the negative or rather on the hardest part of having a long-distance relationship and you begin to change your perception of it for another positive. But, what good is having a long distance relationship? Some of the Points in favor who have a long-distance relationship are the following:
- If there is trust and good communication in the relationship, it is very likely that it will become more solid and durable, since it is a relationship that has passed one of the most difficult tests and that is being physically separated. The more trials you overcome together, the more the relationship grows and strengthens.
- The encounters are made more special and unforgettable. Stop seeing a person for a while and then see them again, makes them look more eager and the time they spend together is more of a quality.
- You can have more time for yourself. For example, it may be that at the moment you are studying and working and you do not have much free time to see your partner very often, but nevertheless being in contact, can help you carry out your projects personal.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
