When a person is sad it is not only very hard for them, but also for the people around them. Sadness can undermine your self-esteem, weakening your ability to both give and receive affection. If your partner is sad, you may feel distressed and don't know what to do. You desperately want to help him, but your efforts don't seem to pay off and you keep seeing him sad every day.
Every time you try to help, offer solutions, and “fix” the problem, things only seem to get worse. You feel helpless, that you cannot help him and, in some way, you begin to feel a hopelessness and/or sadness similar to that of your partner at not being able to do anything about it. So what is your role? ¿What can you do when your partner is sad?? In this Psychology-Online article you will find the answer to these questions.
Index
- How to support your partner in difficult times
- Offer concrete support
- be compassionate
- Talk about treatment options
- Express affection and interest
- Listen to your partner without judging
- Keep the hope
- Try to point out his small victories
- dispel the myths
- Look for reliable information on the subject
- don't forget about you
How to support your partner in difficult times.
When you see your partner suffer it's natural to want to do something about it. You've probably already tried to help her, by trying to solve her problems or giving her ideas about what to do to feel better, but every time you try to help her, she seems more down. This situation can make you feel angry or angry because you are trying everything, but nothing seems to work. However, you should keep in mind that there is no "magic bullet" to ease someone's sadness.
In this sense, Esther Perel[1] points out that when a person is depressed, they feel weak, down, without energy, without libido and without hope, but interpersonally she has a lot of power, since she activates others to care about her to try to make her feel better. The Belgian psychologist also points out that the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.
In this sense, Andrew Solomon[2] explain what love, although it does not prevent sadness, it does has a deadening effect on the mind and protects her from herself. You can't "fix" your partner's sadness and make it go away, but don't underestimate the positive impact love and support has on your relationship, either.
So, if you are wondering how to cheer up your partner when they are sad, the best thing you can do is be there for her, without trying to "fix" or "solve" your sadness. It's hard to believe that what is needed is simply to listen and respectyour space. Remember that your partner did not wake up one day and decide to be sad. Remember that you are on the same team. The situation is difficult for both of you, but neither you nor your partner are to blame.
Offer concrete support.
There are several ways you can cheer up your partner when they are sad. One of the most important is support her in difficult times. Someone struggling with depression may not know how to answer a broad question like "what can I do to help you. Instead, offer specific, concrete support like sitting next to him quietly, taking him for a walk, or helping him with everyday tasks.
Be compassionate.
What to do if your partner is very sad? In these cases, it is very important to be compassionate. The compassion It is a combination of empathy directed towards the well-being of a person. Empathy does not mean feeling sorry for someone, but rather "being with" and actively seeing the situation through the other's perspective. Empathy becomes compassion when there is also compassion. willingness to act on behalf of the person we love.
Talk about treatment options.
Unfortunately, there is still a stigma attached to mental health issues. Maybe you and your partner think it's "just a phase" or that sadness can be overcome, regardless of the difference between being depressed or sad. Perhaps you are not sure if the situation requires professional help. In any case, it is better to get help from the beginning to reduce the duration and severity of the situation.
The cognitive behavioral therapy It has been shown to be effective in treating sadness, one of the symptoms of depression. Although you want to encourage your partner, no, you yourself cannot diagnose or make a treatment plan, but you can share the idea that help is available. Often, what most encourages people to go to therapy for the first time is not their own intrinsic desire, but the concern of their loved ones.
Express affection and interest.
If your partner is sad and feels bad about themselves, it is convenient remind her that you love and respect her. Also, it's okay to share your concerns. You can tell your partner "I love you and I understand you can't get out of bed" or "I appreciate you and I need you" instead of expressing concern that if they don't wake up it will make things much worse.
Listen to your partner without judging.
If your partner is sad, it is possible that they tend to isolate themselves and not share what is happening to them. However, don't assume that solitude is what your partner needs to feel better. One way to reconnect with your partner is when they feel comfortable sharing their experience with you. When your partner says something about their experience and how they are living it, encourage her to share more with you while listening without judging.
Keep the hope.
Sadness often goes hand in hand with hopelessness. Your partner is not only in great discomfort, but also feels that it will always be like this. Having hope is vital to cheer up your partner. If you feel hopeless, you can still choose hope and glimpse a better future. You can even say something like, "I know it seems like this will always be the case and I know you've been through hard things before, but I'm very hopeful that you will overcome this challenge."
Try to point out his little victories.
Generally, people react better to criticism if they have support and positive reinforcement. So, when in doubt about what to do when your partner is sad, yourat to focus on your achievements no matter how small they seem.
If your partner hasn't dressed and one day they do, it's a big change and should be recognized. You can tell her that you imagine that it has been very difficult for her, but that you have realized that something has changed.
End the myths.
myths about mental health can affect your capacity for compassion and self-pity from your partner. As for sadness, there is a particularly harmful myth that sadness can be controlled. You may be wondering what's wrong with my partner and why he can't do even the most basic tasks. In these cases, your partner may be even harder on themselves and feel worthless.
The thing is, you can't get rid of sadness on your own, just like you can't get rid of diabetes on your own. being sad is not a choice It is not a character defect, but rather an emotional state that affects the daily life of the people who suffer from it and that may require treatment if it becomes chronic. For all these reasons, supporting your partner in difficult times is very important.
Look for reliable information on the subject.
You can't control if your partner is sad, so the situation can be desperate and out of control. In these cases, one way to gain a sense of control in your own life is to educate yourself about the issue. To the educate yourself on the signs and symptoms of sadness, you'll be less likely to blame your partner and probably act more compassionately.
In this sense, you will also be more likely to understand what to expect and know where and how to help your partner if they are psychologically unwell. In this article you will find information about what is sadness in psychology.
Don't forget about you.
Even if your partner is sad, do not give up your interests or your friends. If you don't take care of yourself, you'll end up resenting her, which can undermine the relationship. While you support your partner, it is vital that you also take care of yourself.
Do what you need to do to feel good, to be safe, and to stay healthy. Psychological therapy can help you navigate this balance, set healthy boundaries, and not lose yourself.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to What to do when your partner is sad, we recommend that you enter our category of Couple therapy.
References
- Perell, E. (2007). Mating in captivity: Unlocking erotic intelligence (p. 272). New York, NY: Harper.
- Solomon, TO. (1998). Anatomy of melancholy. The New Yorker, 21.
Bibliography
- De la Espriella Guerrero, R. (2008). Couples therapy: systemic approach. Colombian Journal of Psychiatry, 37, 175-186.
- Malcolm, D. R. (2019). The Critical Role of Self-Compassion and Empathy in Well-Being. American journal of pharmaceutical education, 83(10).
