Putting an end to a relationship is one of the most difficult decisions that we can ever find in life. We are assailed by doubts as to whether we want to continue with our partner, accompanied by various fears: what happens if I am I wrong or if I regret it? What if later I realize that I do love her/him and I want to be with that person? person?
In this Psychology-Online article, we want to give you some guidelines that can help you know what to do about this issue. read on to find out what to do if i want to leave my partner and i can't. Discover the best professional advice to value your relationship and make the best decision for your well-being.
Index
- Use your imagination
- Hear yourself twice when you are with him/her
- talk to the other person
- Write a journal of feelings
- Make a list of pros and cons
- ask your environment
- give yourself a time out
- Reflect on how many things you would change and how many you would not
Use your imagination.
How to leave someone I can't leave? We propose a kind of game. Imagine for a whole day that this person is not your partner.. Do not make plans with him or her, think about the future as if he or she were no longer in your life and, once this day has passed, Write how you have felt, what has caused you not to see the other person in your future, how have you been this day without he she. All these are experiences and sensations that can help you make a decision.
Listen twice as much when you are with him/her.
Our body is wise and sends us signals. When you're with the other person, listen to yourself. see what you feel next to himIf you imagine yourself spending more time with that person, if you feel like sharing experiences with him and what would you feel if he told you now "I'm going away for a long time", would you miss him?
Talk to the other person.
I want to leave my partner but I can't: what do I do? Communication is always the foundation of a relationship, both in good and bad times. Therefore, you should have a conversation with your partner. Remember that relationships are bidirectional and go both ways.
Perhaps what you feel is also the result of what the other part of the couple feels. Ask him or her how he or she feels about your courtship., if he is still excited, if he wants to make plans with you, etc. If you want more information to help you clear up your doubts, we suggest you consult this article on how to have a healthy relationship.
Write a journal of feelings.
If you say "I want to leave my partner but I'm afraid", we suggest you write a feelings diary. It would be a mix of the first two points, but unlike the others, this activity consists of record each day for several weeks how you feel about the relationship.
The time you want to write the diary is up to you, yes, it must have an end, that is, an end date. When the day comes, take a few days off and prepare another day to read it in its entirety. The evolution or not evolution of your feelings about the relationship can help you make a decision.
Make a list of pros and cons.
When in doubt about how to know if it is time to leave your partner, you can make a list of pros and cons. It is a very typical tool, but no less useful for that, when you are considering leaving a relationship it is important to see what do you lose and what do you gain with this action. Like almost everything in life, we always weigh the pros and cons of our actions. Why not do it now?
Ask your environment.
Ask those around you how they see you and what perceptions they currently have of you. On many occasions, people outside and around us perceive things that we ourselves are not capable of perceiving. Maybe they see us duller or they have realized that we look for any excuse not to be with our partner.
Sometimes, our environment can open our eyes to many things. For all these reasons, if you say you are not happy with your partner but you cannot leave it, ask your trusted environment for good advice.
Give yourself a time out.
What to do if I want to leave my partner and I can't? Not all couples or all relationships accept a time out, but it can be a temporary solution. Obviously, before taking this step, assess whether or not your partner can accept a dead time
If once assessed you think it is an option, you can ask your boyfriend or girlfriend for a time where the two of you give each other a space to think, you can set your rules and regulations about what can or cannot happen at this time, about whether Do you want to maintain sporadic contact through messages or if, on the contrary, it is disconnection absolute. This time can help both of you to reflect on which path you want your relationship to take or if you no longer want it to continue. If, on the contrary, it is your partner who asks you for time, in this article you will see what to do if my partner asks me for time.
Reflect on how many things you would change and how many you would not.
If you say "I want to leave my boyfriend but I'm afraid of regretting it", consider the relationship today, ask yourself How many things about your partner would you like to change? and how many would you like to stay. Once you have done this, rate each thing with the importance it has for you, both what it has and what you would like to change.
Once you have done this exercise, reflect on how many of the things you would like to change are something that can be worked on as a couple or are innate and part of their way of being. This exercise can be very useful, since allows you to see graphically where the relationship is for youIn addition, we add another final question: what effort are you willing or willing to invest so that certain things in the relationship change?
Finally, if you believe that it is best to end the relationship, we recommend you read the following article on how to leave your partner without hurting him, a topic that we also address in the video that you can see below.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to I want to leave my partner and I can't: what do I do?, we recommend that you enter our category of Couple therapy.
Bibliography
- Riso, W. (2003). Love or depend?: how to overcome affective attachment and make love a full and healthy experience. Publisher: Norma.
